Sunday, May 14, 2006

Thoughts on Christianity

I have had some trouble with a lot of Christian orthodoxy. I know that there is a lot of good in the Christian dogma - because there is a lot of love - but I wonder if people don't get lost in the rules, and the structure - even though it's really just there, it seems to me, to direct people to love. But I've had some new thoughts recently.

What if God was always loving, not angry, even during Old Testament times - but He just couldn't get us to believe it? Perhaps, we were so angry, fickle, and fearful (as always) that we couldn't even conceive of a God who was not. I believe we have to create the world we want to live in with our own actions. If we, ourselves, cannot be loving (each one of us individually), how can we accept the idea that there is strong love in this world? Perhaps we may even feel the most timid stirrings of love at times even in difficult situations, but if we choose not to act on them, how can we expect that others will. However, if we act out of love, there MUST be someone else who does as well. We've proven it is possible - thus it must exist.

Therefore, what if God always loved us, and was never angry, and didn't send down punishments - but merely let us learn from the reality of the world? What if he sent down Jesus to give us a living symbol of the fact that we are good enough, we are blessed, we are loved, we don't need to prove ourselves and that had always been true we just couldn't see it? What if all that is required of us is to have faith so that we allow love to grow with us and don't turn it off with our doubts and fears about getting hurt and not being good enough to be loved?

Agh, but I still don't understand...why are we here? I feel very strongly that I have a purpose here - to comfort, to gently guide, to encourage, to love. But why? Maybe we all just need to learn we are good enough, we are loveable, we are loved. Maybe if we could all figure that out - earth would be heaven.

It confuses me. But I'm starting to get a little farther along in my thinking.

Thoughts, disagreements, comments?



Post a Comment

<< Home