To say `gay`or not to say `gay`...

I'm visiting with my best friend, who, like me, is living in France right now. She has gone to get a baguette and some fruit so I have a little time to write, which is good, because I miss writing. However, I'lm using a French keyboard, which is very different than an American one, so I can not type my thoughts as fluently. Please excuse any terrible typos - I will do my best to be clear anyway.

My friend, an intelligent, thoughtful, and social girl - like myself - believes in chastising people who say things like, "That's so gay" in a negative way. I do not.

I personally don't use the phrase. I don't think that it is descriptive enough to suit my purposes - and in the end, I try not to be disdainful of things in the first place - most things fulfill an important role for someone, somewhere, as long as it is not something harmful to people, than whatever. There is always a more effective way to say something.

Anyway, I'm not going to go into all the reasoning here. I don't believe it's a good thing to say. Nonetheless, I'd rather lead by example.

But I think the more important point is that we are all people. We all deserve respect. If we are honest, and I believe in looking at things honestly and clearly as a function of loving truly, we all have things that are different or wierd about ourselves that someone's not approving of. If we want to truly love and take care of other people, it will happen when we are careful with all people - not just certain groups. Many people in this world feel ostracized, beat down, unable to cope, unable to progress, discriminated against in one way or another. We need to be careful to people, not to groups. I think we leave a lot of people out and contribute to the stereotyping even just by being careful of that group, instead of careful of the individual.

We are all so politically correct - and on the surface we believe in being 'tolerant' or whatever of people. But, deep down, do we actually treat everyone based on who they are? Many people are especially careful to gay people because we must be careful to certain groups. But are they real to that person for themselves? Are they really seeing the gay person? Are they showing more real compassion or empathy or love or just pussy footing around?

I'm not sure that it's helpful to pretend to be nice to anyone. If you hate them, that's your perogative, and also your loss. Don't get me wrong I'm for laws to make sure that no one is discriminated against for a group they are a part of in the workplace etc. But changing other people's phrases? I don't know about that.

My other best friend is gay. I don't love him because he is gay or not gay but because he is my wonderful friend who has really meant a lot to me over the years. So these are my thoughts.

What do you think? Most people I know disagree. But I'd love to hear both points of view.

Much love
Jenniebee